Here is the truth. When we are lacking confidence, it is because some things aren’t right in our life. There I have said it.
If this makes you feel squeamish, keep reading.
In my coaching practice, the one thing many women bring is a lack of confidence. It manifests in many different ways. They may not feel they deserve to put themselves first or it could be fear of failure. They may even believe they aren’t good enough. And so these women continue through life living according to how others think they should.
In all these women’s lives there is something they are not doing – owning up to their confidence. What do I mean? They aren’t paying attention to what isn’t working in their life. It could be one thing eating away at them. Most often, they don’t even realize what that one thing is. They have chosen to ignore it. And guess what, it is holding them back.
I know this to be true because I have been there! When we aren’t in the place where we are supposed to be, unconsciously we hold ourselves back. What I mean is we aren’t open, don’t take risks and don’t live our authentic self (yes it all comes back to being authentic).
What do I mean about not being open? The best way to describe it is when we are looking across and down most of the time. We dig in our high heels (or sneakers) and focus only on what is right in front of us. Being open is the exact opposite – holding our head up and looking above the fray. Above the horizon is a beautiful place and when we let ourselves see the wide expanse above and beyond, we start to see things that are new and possible. Just as important, we also enable ourselves to see those things that may not be working for us anymore.
Taking risks is a practice. I don’t mean potentially hurtful or harmful risks, I mean putting ourselves on the line. This could be suggesting a complete alternative to the status quo in a meeting, going alone to a big networking event, or shifting careers. It could also mean facing up to and changing what isn’t working in our life. No matter how small or big, the practice of taking risks is critical to building our confidence. The more we do it the more our self-assurance builds and our belief in ourselves.
You know I am big on authenticity. If we aren’t coming from a place of truth then how can we be confident? If we are a false self, no wonder we struggle with confidence. Sounds simple, but we get caught in the cycle of trying to be what others expect or think of us. We layer on ways of being that don’t belong to us. Being comfortable with who we are will naturally allow confidence to flow through us.
Confident women have the power to live their lives wholeheartedly and with purpose. They know when it is time to make changes, and they know when it is time to stay the course. This is a huge gift to themselves and those around them.
If you are like the many women who lack confidence consider these three questions:
1. Are you lifting your head to see what is possible?
2. Are you engaged in the practice of taking risks?
3. Are you living your authentic life?